A poem by Fanny Howe

The night was almost too long to bear
Then there was evidence of mercy-a passing car-
milky air-and I could see
dry walls & gravel on the way to a highway
Atlantic for its grays

Loss is the fulfillment of the Law
Space collected on a long line

I was eliminated as a locus of mothering-
a she-physical but imaginary as a restless daughter

Why this body and not another

The one who came to destroy the works of women-their
offspring-
knew how many people were resisting incarnation
He counted on them by accommodating them

Guilt relieving guilt
is the get of killers whose mouths shine
I can't say enough about this-red because sore
& polished because wet

One died to become the spirit-guide
Before that time
there were second persons in everything
Then saints, then no one
to guide anyone to heaven
Cosmic expansion has gone in its preferred direction

I can hear the hour, this never
happed to me before
One day I will shake the blue sky from my hair
and slip back to consciousness-
the thing that is always aware
with or without a living creature to share its pleasures

Tonight I request the precious gift of final perseverance
shored up in my sheets
not far from a predawn holocaust
of traveling children

-Fanny Howe